Just Say No

Four days. Normally, that length of time is a mere blip on the radar of our busy lives, but when your spouse is out of town, the whole time-space continuum thing seems to change a bit, and the days get substantially longer. Last week, my wife dared leave our six children and me alone to fend for ourselves while she attended a conference in Orlando. While I should probably point out that “fend for ourselves” included having a detailed list of activities, prepared food and schedules to follow – not to mention a couple meals from my mother who lives a mile away – it was still a significant change in our daily routines. The stuff she is responsible for is hard, and I had plenty of my own stuff to do, too.

In fact, in the days just before she left, I did the unthinkable – I turned down two assignments from important clients who needed some writing done on very short notice. Normally, I wouldn’t hesitate to accommodate their requests, but this time I knew in order to do so I would have to neglect my family responsibilities. In reality, I should always take on just what I can fit into a regular workweek, but that is difficult when you are piecing together your payroll every month.

But there is more to it than that. I hate saying no. I hate letting clients down. Even if they don’t see it that way, that is how it makes me feel. In addition to not making the money, saying no presents the danger of the client finding someone else to meet their need. What if the new person does a great job? What if the client likes them better? What if I am no longer considered the “go-to” guy?

All that went through my head just before I more thoughtfully considered what really mattered. Yes, my clients needed help, but one of the reasons I wanted to work for myself in the first place was so I could do it on my terms. I knew there would be rare times when I would have to choose family over work. And this was one of those times.

While my children could have survived a couple more hours without me, I didn’t want them to. And although I could have used the extra money, I will be OK without it (I think). I realize that I am not breaking new ground with the “priorities” discussion, but sometimes it takes a real-life, real-time decision to put it to the test.

My wife came home (always a good sign) and things are back to normal. I just want to make sure that from now on, “normal” means I am home when I need to be -- even if that means giving up a job here and there.